My Heart And Me

What is about me? When you meet a woman friend, do you start planning all the activities your going to do together for the next ten years? I don’t think so. Most people same as me realize it takes time to establish a real friendship; it takes time to know if you’re compatible. The Bible tells us to “keep our hearts with all diligence, for out of it flow the issues of life and death.” I need to understand how valuable and important my heart really is. It require special protection-when my heart suffers, my whole being suffers. The condition of my heart affects my health and my ability to function. Mostly the root of my heart problems is disappointments. This holiday season, Christmas is past approaching I feel holiday blues it always happens to me every year. I remember the past, my bad experience that happens on my birthday. Still I can’t get over that past. How can I keep my heart when I’m so desperately want to give it away. Falling in love with the wrong person give deep wounds and bruises to my heart. I come to conclusions that true love is able to stand, even in the most adverse conditions. It is something special begins to happen once our hearts have been put to test and we have survived the worst of circumstances. We bloom and we unfold until love can not be contained within ourselves. Love and disappointments hurts my heart, it takes time to heal deep wounds I believe “hope deferred makes the heart sick” I have to be careful about what I subject my hearts to.

Last night when we’re lying on my bed and about to sleep with my daughters, I asked them if they’re happy when they’re with me every weekend. My daughters replied “yes mama we’re happy being with you.” Suddenly she told me “mama tomorrow is December 1, your birthday is coming! What is your plan on your birthday?” I replied, baby I don’t have plan yet and besides I’m old enough to celebrate my birthday. “Mama, we have to celebrate your birthday because last year we didn’t celebrate it because your out of the country we had a lonely Christmas because were not together, we miss you so much last Christmas. Christmas wasn’t the same without you.” I’m so touched! I was teary eyed and I embraced them so tightly. I asked them “what is your Christmas wish? My nine year old daughter said ” my wish is, for you to be happy on your birthday and to be with you on Christmas day!” Oh, so sweet! I told her thank you so much my dear sweet baby, I’m sure I will be happy on my birthday because we’re together ’til Christmas day. And she said again ” I wish we will always be together not only on your birthday and Christmas but all the time and day of the year and all Christmas forever!” “Don’t leave us again mama we need you in our life.” Those words melted my heart! If they only knew how painful for me when I’m not with them. Their Christmas wish is unusual unlike before they’ve wish was to received a gift from us parents and now they’re wishing for my happiness. To my daughters thank you so much for that wonderful Christmas wish! Thank God for the wonderful gifts I have in my life.